On the night of August 15th, two intergalactic creatures invaded the town of Kelly, KY. Those creatures were Ben and Cassidy. This is their story.
Ben: When Cassidy told me about the Little Green Man Festi-
Cassidy: Little Green Men Days festival.
Ben: Little Green Men Days festival?
Ben: Little Green Men Days festival?
Cassidy: That's what it's called.
Ben: Okay, whatever. When Cassidy told me about the Little Green Men Days festival, I automatically thought, "This is going to be hella dank." And to loosely reference something Joey from my screenwriting class said: Inflatable aliens? Kettle corn? Funnel cakes? I'm sold.
Cassidy: I've made it my mission to visit as many things from the Roadside America website as possible, so it seemed obvious for us to go to the Kelly, KY for the Little Green Men Days festival. The festival spans August 15-16, so we loaded up my car with my inflatable infant alien (sadly no pics of him) and blasted Eiffel 65 (I GOT EUROPOP ON REPEAT, EUROPOP ON REPEAT) all the way there on the Friday night of the festival.
Ben: In fact, we left the alien infant in the car. Unfortunately, he didn't make it. The lawyer doesn't really want us to talk about it. We're going to court this Monday.
Ben: In fact, we left the alien infant in the car. Unfortunately, he didn't make it. The lawyer doesn't really want us to talk about it. We're going to court this Monday.
Cassidy: Luckily, the festival had plenty of alien wares to fill the void where he once resided. You know the prices must be good whenever Ben willingly spends money somewhere. We left Kelly with some of the 2012 shirts (we opted out of the 2014 simply because the 2012 ones are A. GLOW IN THE DARK, and B. discounted since they're older), alien clips, little mini UFO, and a LGMDF button. We stayed for a pretty good chunk of time, visiting a lot of booths more than once and staying for the UFO liftoff at the end of the night. And to top everything off, I got a (drumroll please) FRIED SNICKERS. I'm going to make a separate blog post all about the glory of a deep fried candy bar.
I would like to give a shout out to my grandma for letting me have this shirt for the festival. Props to you, Margie Bell.
Yeah, that's right, they had inflatable aliens with SILVER SPACE SUITS ON. If the big ones weren't your style, they had little mini aliens (you can see them hanging up in this photo) for $3.
I begged these guys for forty-five minutes to let me into their ship. They refused.
"Would you like to buy some sunflower seeds or candy for twenty-five cents?"
"No thank you, but where'd you get that cool alien head filled with slime?"
"No thank you, but where'd you get that cool alien head filled with slime?"
Cassidy: The little green men get ready to fire up their UFO on first night of the festival.
Ben: The one on the left had too much to drink.
The signs said that when they were shot at, the little green men "somersaulted back."
Cassidy: Some venders told us about how the festival is going to land on the date of the solar eclipse in 2017. Supposedly all of the hotels in Hopkinsville (a town about five miles away from Kelly) are already booked and there are rumors that the aliens will be returning on that day.
Ben: They also told us to remember Kubrick and guacamole, but I'm not sure why.
"I know we're here for the little green men, but we're also here for the G-man. That's Jesus Christ." There was also live gospel music going on that Friday night.
"Oh wait, what is that? That's... oh, that's just a balloon."
"Zoink zoink."
Ben: The aliens proceeded to show off by revving their nuclear reactors and their hyperdrive ion thrusters... I think they were just compensating for their size.
Cassidy: Ben, that's rude.
Ben: What? Look at them. They're small.
Ben: What? Look at them. They're small.
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